The Mysterious Bella Swan
by PleasantlyWeird
Summary: Alternate Storyline. All same characters, what if Bella was the broody, secretive vampire and Edward was the shiny new toy at Forks High?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Small Fish in A Smaller Pond**

Edward Cullen stared nervously at his shoes. He had been delaying leaving the relative safety of the neighboring wooded area to enter the school. He had only been in Forks for three days now. There had hardly been time to unpack his meager belongings, let alone prepare himself for entering a new school.

A sharp pain ran through him as he thought about the reasons why he had had to come here. His mom and step father had been killed in a car accident less than two weeks ago. He had had no choice but to move here with his dad, stepmother and adopted siblings. He hadn't seen his dad since he was four years old, until he had come to the funeral. Edward had been surprised to meet his new step mom and to find out that they had four adopted teenagers. They were all close to Edward's age. He had never hated his father more than that moment. _Carlisle_; the name was like venom in his mouth.

His mother had been the epitome of kindness and love. She had been not only his mother but one of his best friends and his only confidante. He had gotten along with his step dad fine. They were never particularly close but they didn't hate each other either. His Father was another story. He found him cold, distant, and frankly a little creepy. Kind of like a doctor Frankenstein now although his early memories of his father were much different. Even the way Carlisle had looked in his early memories was entirely contrary to how he looked now.

The sound of the school bell snapped him out of his daze. There was no more time to procrastinate.

_May as well go and face the inevitable. _He thought to himself.

Edward was, by anyone's standards, a classically handsome young man. There was an air of mystery about him, brought about by his quiet moodiness. The fact that he had never had any real interest in his peers made him inexplicably popular. He found people of his own age to be boring, always concerned with trivial things. Since the loss of his mother, their superficiality was even more glaringly irritating to him. While it was no big loss to leave his old school behind, he wasn't looking forward to meeting new people to ignore here either.

Edward was no more than 10 feet away from his hideout when he was assaulted by a bouncing, fluffy blonde girl.

"Hi!" she practically screamed. "I'm Jessica! You must be Edward Cullen, Dr. Cullen's son!"

_And you must be on crack and Red Bull, _he thought wryly.

"Let me show you around. I'll take you to the office to get your pass. You're all the talk around here you know. Nothing exciting ever happens in Forks so you are big news. I was talking to ……."

Edward was desperately trying to phase her voice out. She was so damn annoying. The first person he meets at school turns out to be more torturous than anyone he had encountered back in Phoenix.

"Jessica," he interrupted, putting on his best smile, "I appreciate your offer, truly I do, but I think I need a few minutes to look around. You know, get acclimated."

A look of utter disappointment crossed her face for a second but was quickly replaced by the peppy, annoying smile. "Sure, no problem, I guess. Maybe I'll see you in some classes."

Edward seriously doubted it. He couldn't see this chick in Calculus or any of his other advanced classes. Knowing his luck though, she would fall into the book-smart-but-lacking-common-sense category.

The rest of the morning was excruciating. Every class was a veritable festival of torture. Having to introduce himself and tell something about himself was like a mini-hell every hour. Thankfully he did not have any classes so far with Psycho-Cheerleader. Lunchtime did not allow him the same fortune. She was lurking by the door when he entered the long hall.

"Hello again! I thought we could go through the lunch line together. And I could introduce you to some people, you know, if you want."

Edward was too mentally exhausted to refuse. Maybe he could bore her to death while they ate. He took notice that all she picked up from the food selection was celery stalks and bottled water.

_I can't stand salad girls. How bland. How predictable._ He thought as they looked for a place to sit.

He heard a laugh from his right. It was the most musical laugh he had ever heard. He turned his head to look down; his gaze was met by a stunning pair of golden brown eyes, a color that he had never seen in his life. He audibly gasped when he took in the rest of the face the eyes were set in.

Her skin was pale and translucent. Her thin face was surrounded by an amazing mane of dark chocolate brown hair. She was staring back at him, although her look seemed to be changing to one of horror.

Suddenly she slapped a hand over her mouth and nose and turned her head away so quickly it was almost a blur. Edward stood rooted in his spot, unsure of what had caused her reaction. He heard a hissing sound followed by a growling voice.

"Get away from me!"

It didn't take him long to realize that it was the girl with the golden eyes who was ordering him away. What the hell? He felt an insistent tugging at his sleeve. Jessica was urging him along. Her possessive actions were really starting to piss him off. He yanked his arm away.

"Come on, Edward. She's a freaking weirdo; you'd do better to just walk a wide circle around her." Jessica's voice was urgent and whiny. Edward would rather not deal with her at all but realized that she might be able to give him some info about this mysterious, hateful girl whom he was finding irritatingly intriguing.

As they sat down at a table on the other side of the cafeteria, Edward noticed that Jessica was eyeballing him like someone who was appraising a car they might buy. He felt annoyed as her eyes lingered on his chest and arm muscles.

"So, that was weird, huh?" His feeble attempt at starting a conversation seemed to thrill Jessica. How could she not hear the thinly veiled contempt woven in his voice?

"Bella Swan is a complete and utter nut job. Her dad is the police chief, he's a fruitcake too. A drunk actually. I so cannot believe he still has a job! Anyway, _she_ always sits alone, never eats a thing, and misses a ton of school. She probably drinks too. She must hate the sun because she never comes out when the weather is nice. She's _so_ emo. It's like, gross and stuff."

"Maybe there are things no one knows about her, like another side to the story that might make her make more sense." Edward strangely wanted to defend the girl, even though she had been so rude to him.

"Whatever. Like, all the boys have tried to get with her since she moved here a year ago. She turns them all down. I bet she's a lesbian. Eeww! I bet she like, looked at me in the locker room before! GROSS!"

It took all Edward had not to pick up his hard plastic lunch tray and smack Jessica in the face with it. She had to be the most irritating creature he had ever met. What a bitch!

"Like, oh my god, the freak is staring at me right now!"

Edward turned his head slowly to look in the direction Bella was sitting. She was staring alright, but she was staring at him, not the hateful she-beast beside him. Her brows were furrowed, her eyes narrowed to slit, and her hand was still clamped over her nose and mouth. When she saw him returning her look, she stood up and walked swiftly out of the cafeteria.

"Thank baby Jesus she's gone!" The laughter in her voice was stopped short by the glare Edward bestowed upon her.

"I've lost my appetite. I think I'll go and look for my next class." Edward stood up and stomped away before Jessica could torture him any further.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

**How Bella Came To Be This Way**

Her life wasn't always so complicated. There were memories of when she was normal. She used to enjoy fishing with her dad, Billy Black and his son Jacob on lazy Saturdays. She cherished the memories of long hours exploring the woods, hand in hand with her best friend, the only boy she had ever kissed. She missed Jacob so much that the pain was unbearable. He had been everything to her, the sun rose and set around him. It had been deeper than love. She had needed him as much as the air that she needed to breathe. That was all past now, both her need for Jacob and her need for air. She was no longer the same Bella. She used to be a fun-loving girl who wanted nothing more from the world than a good book to read and a lost afternoon spent next to Jacob Black.

Of course, Jacob was not her friend anymore. He wouldn't acknowledge her existence, whatever that existence might be. Stuck here in this half life, she spent most of the time with her emotions feeling as cold, if not colder than her skin. Even her dad, Charlie, who was responsible for the state she was in now, shied away from her touch. He knew what she was; he had been the one to beg Carlisle to save her.

Bella shuddered away the memory. They were much too painful, too intense. She partitioned off that part of her mind; no good could come from playing the blame game. She was to blame as much as Charlie, even Jacob should shoulder some of the responsibility. If he hadn't said those horrible lies, hurt her heart so badly with his words, she wouldn't have ridden her motorcycle so fast and wrapped herself around a tree. If she hadn't wrapped herself around a tree, she wouldn't have had to go to the ER. Without a trip to the ER, Carlisle wouldn't have treated her, or been the one to see her father's agony as he'd told him that his only child wasn't going to make it. Charlie had begged Carlisle to do whatever he could, whatever he needed to do to save Bella. Carlisle had understood perfectly. Carlisle had granted Charlies request. Bella had had no say in the matter.

The half life had started that night. Charlie had always heard the stories about Carlisle Cullen. How he hadn't been the same man since he moved back here 8 years prior. The story was permanently etched into her mind.

Billy Black and Carlisle had been the best of friends. Carlisle had been offered a job too good to pass up in Alaska. According to Billy, it had been a good thing. Carlisle's first wife, Elizabeth had left him 2 years earlier and taken their son, Edward with them. Carlisle had never been the same. He had wandered aimlessly around Port Angeles and Seattle when he was off duty at the hospital. Billy said he never could figure out what Carlisle had been looking for. Then when the job offer came through, as much as it had hurt to see his friend go, Billy had hoped that the move would be good for Carlisle. Maybe he would be able to put those painful memories away for good.

"Vampires. The whole family!"

That's what she had overheard Billy telling her father when Carlisle and his new family had moved back to Forks. Charlie had laughed it off. Billy had seen no humor in the matter.

"I'm telling you Charlie, he IS NOT the same man I knew. Look at him! He looks like he's been living in a cave for the past two years! I know about these things! You forget that it's part of Quileute legend, the cold ones have been here before!" Billy's tone and body language had been frantic.

"Okay, Billy, answer me this ," Charlie had tried to pacify him. "How can he come and go in the daytime? Aren't vampires supposed to melt in the sun, or burn or something?"

"You've seen too many movies, Charlie!" Billy had been inconsolable. There hadn't been much more to the conversation. Just a final parting shot as Billy walked out the door.

"Look at his eyes. You know his eyes were always the darkest green. They look almost amber now. The eyes are the window to the soul. Look at his eyes and you'll see that Carlisle has no soul!"

That same night, on his way back to the reservation, Billy had swerved to miss something in the road. His car had flipped several times down an embankment, and he had been in a wheelchair every since. Billy never had revealed what he'd swerved to miss. He refused to talk about that night altogether. Now he refused to talk about anything with Charlie or Bella. They had not spoken in the 2 years since Bella had changed.

Now there was a new problem; Edward Cullen. When he had walked by her in the cafeteria, an urge more powerful than any she had felt since the change nearly caused her to lose control. She felt starved, ravenous for his blood. Up until that point, Bella had amazed Dr. Cullen. There had been none of the normal blood lust. She had had no urges to hunt humans at all. She very rarely hunted anything larger than a few rabbits to stave off the thirst. She never allowed herself to become sated. She denied every single thing that was natural to her kind. She wished she could find a way to live without blood completely.

But his blood, Edward's blood, had awakened something in her that was pure animal. It was the most delicious and irresistible aroma she had ever inhaled. The shock of the mental images that came to her mind was terrifying. She had seen herself, standing atop a pile of human bodies, everyone who had been in the cafeteria, and she had Edwards neck to her mouth. His eyes were blank, his chest heaving for air that would do him no good. She was draining every delicious drop of his life force out. The vision sent a shock wave through her.

Secondary to that had been what she had heard him thinking. The same thing she had often thought about Jessica; bland and boring. She had remained in the cafeteria out of curiosity, even though the burning in her throat was maddeningly painful. Edward had defended her against Jessica's hateful accusations and slander, even after Bella had been so necessarily rude to him. The mental image he had made of smacking Jessica in the face with his lunch tray had made the pain worth it, but seeing his dark green eyes looking into hers had been too much. She'd had to run to keep from killing him right then and there.

Charlie had been planning their move for a year now. She would graduate from high school and then they would move out of state, maybe to somewhere like Maine, somewhere with long winters. He could find a law enforcement job anywhere. She knew that this last year would be the longest year ever simply because of her new green-eyed complication. She couldn't kill the son of her creator.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Carlisle's Descent Into Darkness**

Carlisle Cullen had been a good friend to all who knew him in his mortal life. He had always been good-natured, honest and caring; the kind of person who would give you the shirt off of his back. He had known from early childhood that he wanted to be a doctor. It was in his nature to want to help those in pain, to spare them agony and to try to save their life.

He had grown up in New England, the son of Gregory Cullen, a fundamentalist pastor. His father had been a stern, unforgiving sort. The kind of so-called Christian that would make you re-think religion entirely. His congregation had been made up of individuals who had been just as judgmental and rabidly hypocritical as he was.

Carlisle had feared and hated his father for as long as he could remember. He hated the sermons. The long, brutal sermons; there was no kind and forgiving God in those four hour spectacles, only a angry deity that would someday cleanse the world of its evil by fire. There was no such thing as human kindness and goodness; there was only evil, wickedness and hatred lurking in the hearts of mankind. Evil, iniquity, demons, sin, death; these had been the things taught every Sunday by the man who had sired him.

The idea that his father was wrong had always been forefront in his mind. To actually speak that opinion out loud would have been suicide. The physical abuse had been daily. Once, when Carlisle had been caught speaking to a girl whom his father considered to be of loose morals, he'd been made to kneel on a broomstick for hours, while his father had flogged him with a belt. The bruises had taken months to heal, the mental scars stayed with him to this day. Carlisle had been an only child; this had been good because no other child had suffered as he had; it had been bad because Carlisle had suffered the brunt of the abuse for his entire childhood and adolescence.

Carlisle had always suspected that his father's hatred of him stemmed from one reason. His mother had died in while giving birth to him and his father blamed him for it. In all reality, the blame should have gone straight to Gregory Cullen himself. His father had been the one who had refused to take her to the doctor. Doctor's, like everyone else outside of his church, were of the Devil. So his mother, Annalisa, had bled out and died as he had taken his first breath. He had later surmised, after his medical training, that she must have had a placental disruption; something that could have been treated if she had been in a hospital.

He had lived with his father, mostly out of fear, until Gregory had died of Lou Gehrig's disease when Carlisle was 16. It had been a most fitting death for a most evil man. Carlisle's compassion had always been paramount but he had possessed little, if none, for his father. The disease was a progressive descent into hell; Gregory had literally become a prisoner in his own body as his muscles failed him. His mind had still been as sharp and hate-filled as ever but he could no longer speak that hatred aloud to anyone. The hatred in his eyes had gleamed as hotly as ever up until the moment he had passed from this world into whatever waited for him beyond.

Carlisle had not taken him to a doctor to be treated. His secret studies of anything medical had led him to the diagnosis of the disease and he had later confirmed this after med school. His father's reputation in their small town had kept the police from asking too many questions; everyone had known of Pastor Cullen's distrust of the medical field. No one really cared for the man who would burst into fire and brimstone sermons in the middle of Save-a-Lot because he saw a woman buying a tabloid magazine.

Carlisle had become a ward of the state by choice. Some of his father's congregation had offered to take him in out of a misplaced sense of duty, but he had refused. That part of his life had been over. His father's memory and shadow had been something that he had wanted to escape. The government had paid for his medical schooling after high school. He had gone to a small college of medicine medical school in Maine, and had graduated at the top of his class. After college, he had wanted to get as far away from the east as possible; a job opportunity in Forks, Washington had caught his eye. It didn't take him more than a few hours to decide to move there.

He had loved Forks from the moment he'd arrived. Even with the near constant rain and overcast skies, he had loved the people and their culture. He had been especially fascinated with the Quileute people; he had rabidly studied their legends and history. The fact that they believed that they had descended from wolves had captured his imagination. There wasn't much that he didn't know about the Quileute people.

While the native Quileute people had been a passion, his first true love was an obsession. Elizabeth Masen had caught his eye and his heart when she had come into the ER for some stitches. She had cut her hand on a broken drinking glass. She had looked at him with the biggest, greenest eyes he had ever seen; they had seemed to look right into his soul. She had shook from fear as he numbed the laceration; trying to act brave but her trembling betrayed her. He had fallen in love with her the moment his hand touched hers.

It had taken him a month to work up the courage to "accidentally" bump into her at the grocery store.

"Hello," he had said rather timidly from behind her in the bread aisle. "Do you remember me?"

Her smile had been instant and glorious; it had taken his breath away.

"Of course I do, Dr. Cullen. You saved my life." She had teased him and it encouraged him.

The small talk had led outside the store; he had inquired about her hand, she had asked how he liked Forks. Once he had realized that they had been standing beside her car talking long enough for his ice cream to melt and leak through the bag, he had garnered enough courage to ask her to dinner. She had accepted before he could complete the sentence.

From their first date they had been inseparable. They had married on a crisp October day less than four months after their first date. It had been the happiest day of his life, until she had come to him and told him that she was expecting.

Edward Anthony was born on June 20th, weighing in at a whopping 8 lbs, 4 ounces. He had been born with a head full off bronze colored hair, just like his mothers. His eyes had been the same brilliant shade of emerald green like Elizabeth's from day one, never the usual newborn blue. He had been the happiest baby and the pride and joy of both his mother and father.

Their marriage had seemed like a fairytale. They'd had all the happiness and love that everyone wishes for but few rarely find. A family that had seemed too perfect to last and they were.

Edward had been almost two when Carlisle had made the worst mistake of his life. He had met Sarah Black on the Quileute reservation during his weekly trip to their clinic. He had volunteered there to give care to the Quileute people who couldn't afford regular hospital care. She had come in with complaints of flu-like symptoms, he had diagnosed it as influenza, prescribed over the counter pain treatment, increased fluids, bed rest and sent her on her way. It had seemed text-book, his patient list that day had been overwhelming, and they had been lined out the door. It wasn't until a day later, when he had seen her name on the morgue list, that he found out she had died; died of meningitis. A simple blood test could have saved her life but his inattention had killed her. Worse yet, he'd had to treat Billy Black, her grieving widower and his newborn infant son, Jacob to make sure they didn't have it as well.

The guilt had eaten him up inside. He had distanced himself from Elizabeth and Edward. He'd hated himself so badly, he knew that if they'd found out they would hate him too. He'd begun to drink to numb himself. He was a completely different man when drinking. It had been in a drunken state that he had put his hands on Elizabeth, choking her, screaming at the top of his lungs, sobbing and lost.

When he'd woken up the next morning, she was gone with Edward. There had been a note lying in the floor by the front door.

Carlisle,

I won't be back; you won't see Edward until you take care of your problem. I can't ever look at you the same way again. I will always love you but I can't be with someone I will always be afraid of.

Elizabeth.

There had been what he knew were teardrops spattered on the paper. Some had belonged to her, some he had added as he read it.

He had taken a leave of absence from the hospital. He had wandered aimlessly around the larger cities and even ventured onto the Quileute reservation. It was there that he ran into Billy Black. He had been terrified of Billy's wrath. He'd had to have found out that it was Carlisle's fault that Sarah had died. Shockingly, Billy bore him no ill will. Billy had led him on a walk to First Beach. The sound of crashing waves had sounded like cannon fire in Carlisle's ears. Billy had stopped and looked Carlisle in his eyes, taken a deep breath and with that breath had changed Carlisle forever.

"My people know that each one of us is given our own fate before we are even born. It was her fate that led her to her passing. It wasn't your fault, it was what was meant to be, Carlisle."

Billy's absolution had caused an almost hysteria in Carlisle. He had dropped to his knees, sobbing, begging the universe for forgiveness, clutching at Billy's feet. He had been completely broken by this man's undeserved kindness and understanding. It would have been easier to deal with if Billy had pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

Billy had calmly helped him to his feet when his emotions had ebbed. He had put his arm around Carlisle and walked him back to his car. It hadn't taken them long to bond over their losses and become the best of friends.

It was two years later that Carlisle had been offered a job in Denali, Alaska, working with the native people of the area, the Athabaskan.

He had accepted the job offer with a heavy heart. It would mean leaving Billy Black and Jacob, both of whom he considered family now. He also would be farther away from Edward. He knew he could never mend his relationship with Elizabeth, but she had allowed him to see Edward on a couple of occasions. The difference two years had made had torn his heart. The boy didn't know him anymore. It would be a long road to make up all that he had missed and moving to Alaska would only complicate things.

Nevertheless, he had decided to go. If he could help the native people of Denali understand that medical care wasn't bad, he might feel like a worthwhile human being again; the hospital hadn't been the same when he had returned to work. He had felt unfulfilled and useless for too long at that point. So he had said goodbye to a stoic but tearful Billy Black and other friends he had made in Forks. The Clearwater's, the Stanley's, and Charlie Swan. Charlie had become his friend after the two had commiserated over wives who left and never came back. While Elizabeth had been given more than ample reason to flee, Renee Swan had run away with a minor league baseball player and had never looked back at Charlie or their daughter Bella.

Bella and Jacob Black had become surrogate children to him in a way. While Elizabeth had been sending pictures and updates of Edward, it wasn't the same. He had hung back and merely watched as the two children, one as fair as moonlight and the other with skin as warm as the sun, made everything surrounding them seem perfectly in harmony. There had been no arguing, most of the time there had been no talking at all. They had always seemed perfectly content to be side by side, hand in hand, no words needed. If only life could always be that easy and simplified.

It hadn't taken him long to pack up his household and make the move to Denali, Alaska. He did not take to it as quickly as he had taken to his former home. The weather was severe a lot of the time, but there was a wild and savage beauty about the place that eventually won him over. He stayed busy 99 percent of the time. His clinic was always full and as news spread throughout the native Alaskan tribes that the new doctor could be trusted, they came in droves to see him. He had only been there for 9 months when it had happened.

He had been working extremely late trying to catch up charts and notes when he had heard a frantic banging at the clinic doors. It had startled him badly, no one had ever come this late. The locals were superstitious, they believed that the nighttime was full of danger from unnatural beings who drained your blood, beings akin to what he had always known as vampires. His instincts had kicked in as he realized that someone must be badly hurt if they were at the clinic at that time of night.

The blood had been visible to him before he had even gotten close to the doors. He had never seen that much blood without a fatality. A young Athabaskan man was pressed up against the glass of the clinic doors, pawing frantically to get in. Carlisle would always remember the sight of the young man's life pulsing and cascading down the glass with every weakening beat of his heart. Carlisle had gotten the door open just as the young man had collapsed to the ground.

It had taken every ounce of Carlisle's strength to drag the wounded man to the waiting room. The only words that the young man had spoken to him had been in broken English. _She's there.... _

The blood had stopped flowing then and Carlisle knew the man was beyond his help. There was a huge chunk of his neck missing, his jugular had been ripped open. Carlisle had walked back to the door and looked out side. The blood trail leading up to the door was no more than 10 feet long. Whatever had happened to this man had happened right outside of his clinic. Panicked, he had run back to the safe glow of the clinic and slammed the doors closed, his hands shaking in fear.

He had locked the door and turned to continue his observations of the young Eskimo; that was when he had seen her for the first time. He had known right away that she was the angel of death and he was not getting out of there alive.

"Hello Carlisle."

The voice had been the worst kind of seductive poison. It had rang like a bell, soothing his fear but accelerating his heartbeat at the same time.

"We finally meet face to face. I'm sorry that it took this," The beautiful murderess had gestured regretfully at the now lifeless body that separated them, "to get you alone."

"What do you want?" Although her voice had soothed his panic, his mind had been all too aware of the danger that she had exuded.

"My name is Esme. I have waited for you for a long time. You're the promised answer to all my hopes and I pray that you can forgive me for what I'm about to do."

The final word of her sentence had not beat her to his body. She had been upon him before his ears or eyes had been able to register any movement or sound. He'd had no time to react, no time to recoil, before the burning had begun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Definitely Not The Brady Bunch**

Rosalie was a true bitch on wheels. Jasper, Emmett and Alice had done their best to make Edward feel at home, but the blonde diva with the stiletto heels fetish was like fingernails on a chalkboard. She hadn't even deigned to acknowledge his existence, preferring to refer to him as "it".

"Will "it" be here long?" she growled to Emmett, not even trying keep her tone low enough for him to miss.

"Play nice Rose, he is your brother after all." Emmett chided her, pushing his huge elbow into her ribs.

She had hissed at him, a low, startling sound that had made all the hair on Edwards body stand on end. It was a sound that he had only ever heard while watching Animal Planet. He hurriedly grabbed his backpack and headed towards his room. He could hear Emmett laughing as Carlisle began chastising Rosalie for her behavior.

His room here was about four times the size of his room at his mothers house. It was almost twice as big as his whole house in Phoenix had been. It was strange how Esme had known so much about his personal tastes without knowing him at all. The room was painted a deep midnight blue, a color Edward had always found soothing. His furniture was antique, dark oak, minimal in design. He had never been one for fancy or showy things. His mother had done her best to provide for him but money had always been an issue. She had always refused any help from Carlisle.

He threw his backpack to the floor and turned to the corner where his personal belongings still sat in boxes. Well, at least they had this morning. What the hell?

"I took the liberty of unpacking your things for you today. I hope you don't mind."

Esme stood in the doorway, a timid smile playing on her achingly beautiful face.

"No, I, uh, thanks, I guess."

"I think I have things arranged so that you will find them easily. I asked myself where you would put your socks, tee's, Playboy's, etc."

Edward groaned at the realization that she had found his considerable collection of nudie mags.

"Our secret," she smiled, a mischievous look flashing in her golden eyes. "between you and I, I've always thought Playboy was a VERY tastefully done magazine. Real women can appreciate the female form without embarrassment, you know."

A small laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"Edward, I know how hard this must be for you, I know how out of sorts you must feel right now. I hope that you know how glad I am to have you here and that should you need anything, you only have to ask."

"Thank you, Esme, you've already made this much easier than I thought it would be. Now if only I could find another way to school so I don't have to bother Rosalie for a ride anymore." He was being kinder in his words about Rose than she deserved. She had glared at him in the rear-view mirror all the way to school and all the way home, barely glancing at the road as she drove. His nerves had been shot by the time that had made the 11 mile trip both ways. He hadn't been able to get away from her fast enough, first fleeing to the woods beside the school this morning and now fleeing to his room like a scared pup. There had to be some way he could cram himself between Alice and Jasper in Jasper's Vauxhall two-seater, he would make room.

"Actually, Edward, that's why I came up here. Could you follow me downstairs?"

Edward was truthfully scared to face Rosalie so soon. He didn't think his mouth would be able to hold back from screaming at her if she continued the earlier rudeness. It was bound to turn physical and he did not relish the thought of Emmett crushing his skull like an egg if he felt he had to defend Rosalie.

"Okay, but I have a ton of homework to do." He ambled reluctantly behind her down the long hallway.

He was surprised to find the front room empty and even more surprised when Esme continued out the front door. His eyes were still trying to adjust to the twilight when a loud horn honked and headlights flashed on, blinding him momentarily.

"SUPRISE!" He knew the shrill voice that greeted him had to be Alice. Her enthusiasm was irrepressible.

Edward blinked rapidly, trying to get his eyes to focus on what seemed to be a big silver blob with a smaller red blob on top of it. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that it was a shiny silver car with a red bow on top and Alice stood beside it, gesturing like a demented Vanna White.

"Are you.... are, am, are you freaking' kidding me?" His eyes were bugging out of his head. The big silver shiny car wasn't just any car, it was a Volvo S40. The very same car that he had salivated over when reading Car and Driver magazine. Surely this couldn't be his. Was this some kind of sick joke?

The fact that Rosalie stood off to the side by herself and was pointedly rolling her eyes did not escape him.

Edward had been standing with his palms out in front of him, in total shock when he felt something jingly and cold drop into his right palm.

"Wanna take her for a spin, son?" _Where had Carlisle come from? Wasn't he supposed to be at work in the ER tonight? What was he up to? Trying_ _to buy his way back into Edwards life? Well he could take this Volvo and ram it up his....._

As quickly as the anger and ire had arrived, it mysteriously disappeared. Edward couldn't hold onto his anger no matter how hard he tried.

"Uh, yeah! But what if I ding it? I don't wanna mess up your paint job." He wouldn't allow himself to believe that this bad ass machine was truly meant to be his.

"Edward, the car is yours. It's the kind of car I always wanted to buy for you but your mother wouldn't allow it." Carlisle forced an odd looking smile onto his face that was nowhere near reaching his eyes, making him look rather..... constipated.

Edward bounded like a mountain lion to the drivers side of the car. His hands shook as he tried to get the key into the door lock.

"Alice, care to join me for a spin around town?"

"But of course I would love to, brother!" That enthusiasm was the very reason that Edward wanted her along for the ride. He was beginning to believe that having Alice around might make his time here almost bearable.

He finally got the car unlocked and slid behind the wheel. He saw Emmett reach on top of the car and come back with the huge red bow in his hands. Edward mouthed a silent 'thank you' to his mountainous step brother. Taking a deep breath and a few seconds to adjust the seat and mirrors, he slid the key into the ignition, turned it, and felt the low vibration of the motor's purr tickle his feet. Exhilaration flooded his body, sending electrical shocks throughout . He tapped his foot impatiently, wishing that Alice would hurry up.

"What are we waiting for?"

He jumped at the nearness and tinkling sound of her voice. He hadn't even heard her open the door, let alone feel her body weight added to the car.

"Sorry Alice, I'm just in shock, I guess. I used to drool over this car in magazines. I can't believe it's mine. MINE! OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"Well, are we gonna sit here in the drive until it rusts, or are you gonna show me what this thing can do?"

Edward laughed at the mischievous look on Alice's pixie-like face. She was truly adorable, the sister that he had never known until now that he wanted.

"Wow, I'm really gonna make you wish you hadn't said that." he laughed. His first real laugh in what seemed like five lifetimes.

"Do your best, Andretti!" Alice was infectious! He was laughing like a mental patient as he sped down the winding, tree-lined driveway. The heavy weight that had been on his shoulders since he learned of his mother and stepfather's fatal car crash seemed to lift a little more with each mile.

It didn't take them long to reach an open stretch of road and he barely had to press the accelerator to push the speedometer past 100 miles per hour. He was expecting Alice to protest at any moment, but was instead shocked when he saw the look of excitement on her face. Something about her fervor snapped him back to reality, he was instantly sorry that he had endangered her that way.

"What's wrong Edward?" Alice was eying him thoughtfully.

"I shouldn't have been driving like that, it was irresponsible. I could have hurt you."

"Edward, you were fine, I'm fine. I shouldn't have encouraged you, I should have been more sensitive to what you've just gone through. I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you." He voice sounded like tears were coming but he didn't see anything other than an utter look of sorrow on her pale face. She suddenly looked older than her 18 years.

"Take this next right, there's something I want to show you."

"Alice," he protested, "it's late, I won't be able to see a damn thing."

"Trust me, it's a full moon tonight. There will be a brilliant break in the cloud cover, it will be perfect."

"Are you a weather girl or a witch?" Edward was laughing but he was feeling a little creeped out by the certainty in Alice's voice.

"Maybe a little of both," she teased "either way, I think, scratch that, I know you'll be happy you listened to me." He smile was tantalizingly mocking. What an enigma this tiny little ball of happiness and energy had turned out to be. He knew that he had found a true best friend in her. He could see strong bonds beginning to form with Emmett, Jasper and even Esme as well. Carlisle and Rosalie were less likely to become people he would want to hold close. They were prickly, always emoting things that screamed 'BACK OFF!' and 'KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!'.

The new tires of the Volvo crunched noisily on the one lane gravel road. He saw a clearing ahead and slowed as the shape of a vaguely familiar red truck appeared.

"Stop here. It's okay to park here, no one else will be by tonight."

How was she so sure of everything? The last thing he wanted was for someone to come along and jack his brand new car before he'd even put a hundred miles on it.

"No one will bother your new toy, I swear to you!" It was as if his thoughts were playing like subtitles across his forehead. As he opened his mouth to speak, she broke in with a laugh.

"You are fairly easy to read you know. Come on, brother, lets take a walk."

He didn't bother to argue, he knew instinctively that it was a lost cause. Alice seemed to be on some kind of mission tonight and he was merely a spectator. He was sure that he wouldn't be disappointed with whatever she had in mind. A walk might be just the thing he needed, Alice just might be the person he could get some answers from.

The moon was full, and just as she had promised, there was not a cloud in sight to mar the beautiful blue color that Earth's satellite lent to the pathway they were walking. They had been silent for the past fifteen or so minutes, she had clasped his jacket sleeve in her hand and pulled him forward. The silence was comfortable and easy, but there were some things that Edward wanted to ask while he had her to himself.

"Alice, could I, I mean, would you mind if I, um...."Edward didn't even know how or where to begin. Talking to females, even someone he was related to by marriage now, had never been an easy thing for him.

"Ask me anything, Edward. I will be as honest as you can handle." What a totally cryptic thing for her to say. More questions came to mind now, confusing him with the overflow and jumble of layer upon layer. "Let me guess, you want to know how your father met Esme and how they came to adopt Emmett, Jasper, Rose and I?"

"That would be a great place to start." It hadn't been the foremost in his mind but was something that he desired to know.

Alice stopped in her tracks and turned to him, her skin almost glowing in the moonlight. Her expression was serious, no hint of the teasing from before.

"I was serious when I said I would be as honest as you could handle. The answers to those questions are something that I will tell you, I swear it." Her face was so earnest, he couldn't help but believe her. "But right now, the truthful answers to those questions will do more harm than I can justify, so please trust me when I say that now is not the time."

"I trust you , Alice. I'm confused by everything that you just said, but I trust you so I'll wait."

Her smile was instant and beautiful.

"It's because you are so important to me, to all of us, and I do mean ALL of us, that your trust means the world to me."

She turned away and started walking forward again, her steps seeming strangely contained, almost stifled. She started speaking again in her low and thoughtful voice.

"There is something that I really feel the need to tell you, although I don't know if you will want to hear it. Do you trust me enough to keep your ears open even if your heart tries to tell you to close them?"

Her words sounded like prose, a beautiful poetry from another time that frightened Edward on an instinctual level.

"I'll do my best. I bet it's something about Carlisle isn't it.?"

"Who's the witch now, Edward?" Alice's laugh was tense, her hand clutching his jacket sleeve tightened it's grip slightly.

"I know that there are a lot of hard feelings between you and Carlisle. Wounds are there that maybe even time won't be able to heal. I will never be the one to tell you that you have no good reason to feel the way you do towards him. I do know that whole story, maybe even more than you know yourself, and I can tell you that whatever you feel is valid and you have a right to those feelings. You are a brilliant gentle soul, one of the most beautiful beings that I have ever been in the presence of. Your capacity for love and forgiveness is amazing, making all the beauty you have on the outside that much greater."

Her words flowed like healing water, taking away guilt and angst that had been a heavy burden on his shoulders for so long now. How was she doing this? He almost felt intoxicated. He noticed that she had a very floral scent, something beyond perfume, almost vanilla and freesia but with a subtle undertone he couldn't place. She soothed him, emotionally and spiritually. He couldn't imagine, in that moment, ever being without her again. She was the confidante he had sorely lacked since his mother died.

"Alice, I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing then, because I'm not done, not even close."

He smiled and closed his mouth firmly, exaggerating the movement for effect.

"I know that many of the wonderful qualities that you have came from your mother. I have heard nothing but kind and gracious things about the kind of woman and mother she was. But I want you to know that many of those same qualities came from Carlisle as well." Alice eyed him hopefully, as if wondering how long he could keep his word.

Edward opened his mouth to speak and then resolved to make good on his promise. He knew Alice would explain her reasoning and then he could tell her all the ways she was wrong.

"You have early memories of Carlisle, when he was much different than the way is now. If you had none of those memories, how differently things would appear! As I promised you before, things will be made known to you very soon, harsh things that will seem fantastic and unbelievable. You must trust your instinct and not listen to what seems logical. But as unreal as they will seem, when you start to believe, some mysteries from your past will start to make sense. Things that seemed hurtful, that made you feel rejected and lost will reveal a love that you never knew that Carlisle had for you. A love so strong that he plunged headfirst into his own private hell to make sure that you were protected."

The feeling of ease and tranquility was almost suffocating now. It was coming in waves and was making Edward feel almost faint. He thought he heard Alice hiss the name "Jasper" but he must have imagined it. Almost immediately he started to feel better, less nauseated.

Alice came to a stop and crouched behind a fairly large boulder. Edward joined her as she faced him and put her finger to her lips to hush him. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a tiny set of binoculars.

She pointed to a clearing about 1000 yards ahead. Edward put the lenses up to his eyes and peered towards the pool of moonlight. The smell of a night blooming flower wafted to his nose, he gasped as his eyes focused on the lone figure in the clearing, a meadow of softly swaying grass.

Alice put a startlingly cold hand across his mouth and hushed him again. She leaned in extremely close to his ear and spoke in the tiniest voice he had ever heard.

"Isn't she absolutely beautiful?"

"Is that Bella? The weird girl from school?" He kept his voice as low as he could, the adrenaline surging through him gave it a shaky, uneven sound.

"She most certainly is NOT weird, she's misunderstood. Everyone in Forks is so damn judgmental. UGH!"

"Well, she hates me, that's for sure. She practically hissed at me at school today."

"You think you know so much yet you actually know so little. And she is just as clueless. You two have no idea how lucky you both are to have me." The pride in Alice's whisper was unmistakeable. She grinned widely, reflecting moonlight off her gleaming white teeth.

"Why am I here spying on this girl?" Edward was truly confused now, he couldn't see any possible reason Alice would have for this trek into the woods at night.

"Like I said, you know so little and I don't claim to know everything. What I do know is that somehow, this, tonight, is setting things in motion. Now watch her, pick up every little detail you can. We have to go soon, she'll be ready to leave and I don't want her to spot us. That would be very bad."

"Alice, I....." She hushed him yet again and forced him to turn his head towards the lone figure. He hesitantly put the binoculars back to his eyes.

She was stretched out, facing the direction of where Alice and Edward were hidden, her arms behind her slightly, supporting her. Her legs were crossed at the ankles and there was a book lying in her lap. He could almost make out the words on the cover.

"Baudelaire." Alice whispered. When Edward looked at her quizzically, she merely shrugged her shoulders and motioned back to Bella.

When his gaze found her again, she was sitting forward the book raised in her hands.

She was smiling as she read. Edwards heart skipped when he saw how utterly beautiful and perfect she was. All the tension he had seen in her expression at school was gone. She looked like an angel sitting there in the moonlight, free of what had troubled her earlier today. She tensed suddenly and looked directly at where they were hiding. Edward heard Alice hiss loudly.

"Damn! Sorry Edward, I have to." He felt cold hands pressing on both sides of his neck and then everything went completely black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Jacob Has The Blackest Heart**

Jacob Black was many things. He was the son and only child of a Quileute Elder. He was a humongous example of a 17 year old boy/man. He was a good looking son of a gun and he knew it. He was an excellent mechanic as evidenced by the fact that his Volkswagen Rabbit ran like a new car rather than the 20 something year old dinosaur that it was. He was a shape-shifter, a werewolf if you will. And he was a total asshole.

Anyone who knew Jacob Black on any level would tell you that. He shunned the company of his former friends. He had been a certifiable jerk since he'd had his falling out with Bella Swan. He wouldn't even allow anyone to say her name in his presence. Quil Ateara bore a puckered pink scar on his left cheek to attest to that fact. Having only mentioned that he'd seen Bella passing by in Port Angeles he'd received his scar when Jacob had thrown a kitchen knife at Quil's head lodging it straight into his facial bone. Seeing as how Quil was also a shape-shifter, not much real physical damage had been done, but that had been the turning point, the event that led to Jacob leaving the pack and becoming a true lone wolf.

His friends and fellow pack members had done their best to coax him back but after two years, they had given up. He was broken somehow, incomplete and disjointed. No one could hear his mind anymore, try as they might. When Sam Uley, the new Alpha, had tried to communicate with Jacob mentally, all the pack had heard was the sound of screaming. It had been the last time anyone would try.

The forest floor was a blur. Even though he wasn't in his wolf form, his speed on two feet was formidable. He ran all the time. It wasn't as if he was running towards something, he was always running away from something. Memories were an adversary as fast as he, no matter how far or how swiftly he ran, they nipped at his heels. They swarmed him, blocking his vision, taking control of his mind and making him relive things that hurt him. Today, like every other day, he eventually stopped the movement of his legs. Not because he was tired or weakened from the exertion, but because he knew he deserved the pain that would come with remembering. Two years ago had been the beginning of the end of his relationship with the only woman he would ever love. The agony began with remembering how that fateful day had begun, he leaned against a tree as the memories attacked;

"Bella, there's something that we need to talk about."

"Okay, whats up Jake?" The look on her face told him that she had no idea that anything was wrong. She was as trusting as ever, completely oblivious to the changes that were taking place. Totally unaware that Jacob was about to break her heart and make her hate him. And she would never know that he was doing all of it because he loved her too much to keep her close. The unkindness he was about to hand her was far better than the danger of letting her be around a young werewolf like himself. A young, uncontrolled, volatile, werewolf who was becoming more aware of Bella and her female charms everyday.

Their relationship had been so innocent up until that point. Hand holding and spending time together had been more than enough for both of them. Even though everyone else around their age were further into experimenting with things of a sexual nature, it was something that just never seemed to be an issue with either of them. But lately, Jacob had been dreaming. Vividly dreaming of breaking Bella's front door down, bounding up her stairs and smashing through her door. She had never put up a fight in his dreams, had only laid there as if dazed while he approached her bed. She had always reached for him, never even whimpered as he ripped her clothes away with such ferocity that it marked her body. She had opened herself to him, an invitation that he didn't feel he even needed. In his dreams, he was there to take it, whether she was willing or not. He was neither gentle nor loving. It was violent, aggressive and there was blood. Bella always died in his dreams. She always died because he ripped her throat out while he ravaged her body with his own. A dream so horribly vivid that he could taste the salty sweetness of her blood as it ran over his tongue in bursts, a hot, sticky gush that filled his throat.

The dream had been infrequent at first, maybe coming to him only once or twice a month. Lately it was every night. Worse yet, when he awoke now, he was fully aroused from the dream. It was a constant struggle to keep himself inside his tiny room when he knew that in a few short minutes he could make his way to Bella's house and bring his dream to life. His erection was a shameful reminder of the animal he was now. He had always believed that Bella would be his first and only as he would be hers. But he had always imagined the fairy tale, he was the prince and she would be his queen someday. They would cross that bridge from virginity to sexual intimacy together and it would be beautiful.

Nothing like the dreams he had now. Why would he dream of killing the woman he loved more than life itself? It had to be the change. He had known it was coming. There were vampires in Forks, the change happened to restore the balance and he was the prime age along with many of his friends. Sam had been the first to change. Jacob had followed soon after, he was the Alpha, it was in his heritage. Sam wasn't happy about it but settled for being second in command to a younger, newer wolf. The change wasn't getting easier to deal with like they had hoped, the aggression got worse everyday, worse every time a new pack member morphed. The dream got more violent sexually and the killing of Bella Swan became bloodier and more gruesome.

So this morning, he had awoken, swollen with lust, enraged and determined to enact his nightmare. He had been shouldered up to the kitchen door of the Swan residence before he came to his senses. He had been so close, too close. He had to send her away, make her hate him so that she would never want to see him again. He would have to break her heart.

"Jacob? You wanted to say something? Hey, are you okay?"

She slipped her tiny hand into his and he felt all his resolve start to slip away. How could he exist without her when she was the reason that he even bothered to breathe? He yanked his hand away and tried to look disgusted with her. He felt as if he failed miserably until he saw the hurt flash in her eyes.

"Jesus, Bella. Why do you have to be so goddamn clingy?" The words were acidic, poison on his tongue as he spat them at her.

"What did I do? I'm sorry, whatever it was, I won't do it again. I promise. Just tell me how I.."

"For fucks sake. Look, I'm gonna be blunt cause I don't think this will get through your dense skull any other way. Just shut up and hear me."

The agony in her expression mirrored the pain in his heart as the blasphemy rolled off his tongue.

"I know you think it can always be me and you and we can hold hands and be together happy fucking sunshine bullshit but it..... it just ain't working for me anymore."

"I.. I don't understand Jacob. What..?"

"I have needs Bella. Needs beyond this petty hand holding shit. That's like third grade, I need more than you can give me."

The blush on Bella's face tore his heart in two. She looked up at him, her eyes clouded with tears. Her chin stuck out, a bit defiantly. She rendered him speechless with what she said next.

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, because I love you Jacob."

He wasn't expecting this. He knew how she felt, how she wanted to save herself for marriage. Her virtue was of the utmost importance to her. Her acquiescence was shocking. It didn't take him long to figure out how to deliver the death blow. Because he knew her as well as he knew himself, he knew how to attack her will completely. He laughed his best haughty laugh and sneered down at her.

"Well now, aren't you funny, assuming that I'd want to fuck YOU of all people."

He saw the blow to her self-esteem immediately and he hated himself as he took in the aftermath of his hateful words. He literally stood there and watched the light in Bella's beautiful brown eyes extinguish. He had just killed a part of her.

She didn't say anything to him at all. She turned around, in a stupor and reached for her helmet. She started to put it on but let her hand fall to her side then climbed on to her motorcycle and hit the kick start weakly. Somehow her meager effort managed to get the bike running. Her eyes found their way to Jacobs face, they were dull, lifeless, empty.

"I love you always, Jacob Black. No matter what you say or do, you can't make me not love you. I've loved you since the first time I looked at you."

Without warning, she flung her helmet at his feet and sped off, flinging gravel everywhere. Panic overtook Jacob. He'd never seen her go so fast on her bike. She was always cautious and awkward, her clumsiness an insurance policy that she wouldn't go too fast. But she was already almost completely out of sight. Then the sound reached his ears. The horrifying sound of metal bending and shearing, even the sound of bones breaking. His feet barely touched the ground as he ran with all he had towards the pile of twisted metal.

She was very still, lying face down at the base of a huge hemlock tree. He was screaming her name as he neared but she didn't stir. His stomach turned as he realized that one of her legs was turned at an unnatural angle.

"Bella, OH MY GOD BELLA!" The tears came in torrents as he fought with himself. Should he touch her, turn her over? Would he be doing more harm? Was she FUCKING DEAD?

One of her eyes was red with blood and the pupil was completely dilated.

"Bella, BELLA PLEASE! I'm so sorry Bella, Bella I love you so much, I'm so sorry. GOD!"

She coughed and smiled a weak smile, a smile tinged with blood.

"I knew you loved me too, Jake. I knew it. I....."

The sounds of approaching sirens broke him out of his catatonic state. The EMT's had tried to pry his arms from around her but couldn't budge him. It was Sam Uley who had convinced Jacob to let go so they could treat her. But Jacob knew it was already to late as well as Sam did. They could both smell death coming over her. Try as they may, the doctors could do nothing for her now. Bella was already as good as gone.

Jacob was gone too.

Jacob was the shell of a man, leaning against the tree, allowing memories of that day to flog him. He had hated himself that day for what he did to Bella, he couldn't have imagined that he could hate himself even more. That is, until the day Bella became the thing he hated most in the world. A vampire. And it was all his fault.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 8**

**Carlisle and Esme**

Carlisle could hear the laughter echo up the long hallway to his office. He was torn between to very different emotions. One one hand, he was extremely happy to hear his son's laughter, he hadn't been sure the boy even knew how to smile, on the other hand, he didn't like knowing that Edward was becoming comfortable with his new siblings. This was not the life that Carlisle wanted for him, the less he knew of the truth, the easier it would be to keep him at arm's distance and send him away to college soon.

The love that Carlisle had for his only human son was made greater by his vampire senses. No creature in the world loved as intensely and as deeply as the vampire. They loved completely with every fiber of their being. They also hated as passionately. As much as he loved his other children, being their father in a different sense of the word, if one of them even dared to lay a hand (or a tooth) on Edward, he would end them. He did not wish this life on Edward, he had only brought him here now because he couldn't stand the thought of leaving him to grieve his mother all alone. His internal war was a battle with wondering if he had done the right thing by moving him here, or if he should have left him alone entirely.

Alice had come to him shortly before Elizabeth's accident, had told him what was going to happen. There was nothing he could have done to prevent it. There wasn't enough time for even a phone call.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle. I wish I could have seen it sooner, but I never knew Elizabeth so I wasn't watching out for her."

"Dear Alice, there is nothing for you to be sorry for. Humans die, I loved her once but I hardly know her or my son anymore. It was a different life that connected me to them, but I will mourn her as well as my son's loss."

"Will you bring Edward here?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you the answer to that?"

"I can't see, you either haven't thought about it at all or you're undecided. You know he needs you now more than ever. If you decide, I can tell you how things will work out, either way."

He hadn't even had to answer her out loud, he knew she could see. Her eyes were glassy looking, shining brightly.

"Excellent! Carlisle, you don't know how much this will mean to both of them!"

"Alice, what are....?" She had bounded out of the room, clapping her little hands in excitement.

He had been to worried about how Edward would receive him to hound her further, but as he sat here listening to the gaiety downstairs, her last statement to him before the move left him puzzled. _Both of them?_

The smell Esme's lavender perfume snapped him back into the heard her pad softly into the room. She was so very cat like in her appearance and her movement. Her beauty still stunned him, her grace left him feeling slightly dizzy.

"Love, why are you hiding in your study? Listen to them! I couldn't have dreamed that he would take to them so quickly!"

A low growl burst from Carlisle's chest, causing Esme to jump and hiss in reaction. She was stunned.

"I don't want him to take to them! This life is not what I want for him! You know that and I expect you to respect my wishes!"

"Carlisle, there's something that you don't know, something that Alice has seen but hasn't been able to tell you, I feel that it's time that you found out." Esme closed the door softly and turned to face her mate, her lover, her confidante. "Please hear me out before you say or do anything. You need the whole story so you can understand."

If he had been the owner of a beating heart, he was sure it would be hammering out of control. This couldn't be good. He had never known Esme to keep anything from him, quite the opposite, she had always been blunt to the point of emotional abuse. He felt dread creeping up his spine, sending horrible images and voices into his frozen brain.

"You've never asked me why I changed you Carlisle. Haven't you ever wondered?"

Images of that night in his clinic, when he had thought Esme would murder him, bombarded him. She hadn't been cruel or made it more painful than it had to be. She had been efficient at holding him down while she poisoned him with the venom, then had skirted him away to her secluded home. She had tried to soothe him during his transition. Her voice had been constant and reassuring while he burned. By the time the change was complete, he was completely in love with his maker. Her beauty had been undeniable before she had attacked, but with his new senses and keen eyes, he had been able to see the living work of art that she truly was. If he had been able to cry, he would have wept at the sight of her loveliness. So, he had never wondered why she had decided to make him into a vampire, Carlisle had only felt blessed that he would have eternity to memorize every nuance and movement, to count the golden strands of hair on the head of this immortal goddess.

"My dear husband, I don't know how to begin. I have wanted to tell you for so long now but it seemed pointless to worry you with the details of why I turned you. After your change, I was so relieved that you didn't despise me that it seemed irrelevant. Irrelevant until Edward came back into your life. Alice saw it immediately." Esme's voice trailed off, going to a volume so low that mortal ears would never hear it. "Alice loves you so, and now she loves Edward as much. Trust me when I tell you that keeping this from you has been eating us both alive."

"Just tell me Esme, please. I can't bear this."

"Edward is dying."

The silence that followed those three words was deafening. Even though he could still hear the laughter floating into his study through the closed door, the roar of nothingness left by her revelation made his ears ring.

"Carlisle, please, please...." Esme was pleading with him, but he didn't understand why. "Please don't hate me for keeping this from you until now."

"Esme, how, what's wrong with him?"

"The same thing that was going to kill you, the same thing that killed your father."

"How long does he have?"

"Two years before it would have been diagnosed. Alice saw a very rapid progression of the disease. He will be dead in three and a half years time, if...."

"If what, Esme? There is NO cure for it! We both know this!"

"Not a cure, but a second chance. You could turn him."

Her words were like a slap in the face. He had her pinned to the picture window, his teeth at her neck before either of them had time to think. He was snarling like a wild animal and it was her frightened cry that broke into his rage. He had never shown any type of aggression towards anyone, let alone his beloved Esme. He gently sat her feet onto the floor as he heard footsteps rapidly approaching.

Emmett burst through the door, wild-eyed, his thick hands pushing his sleeves up, preparing to brawl.

"Emmett, it's okay. We're fine. You can go." Esme's voice sounded shaky as she tried to soothe the worried look from Emmett's face. He didn't say anything, just backed out of the doorway, his brow still furrowed, and shut it behind him.

"Esme, I'm so sorry. I would never hurt you. I, I know you mean well. But I can't bear to think of it. Edward can't be dying, he hasn't lived yet."

"You know Alice isn't wrong in her visions. He will die in less than four years if you don't change him. I know how much you love him, the decision is yours to make, but please know that I love him too. He is so much his father's son. I want to have him as a part of this family. And he is so important to Bella as well, she just doesn't know it yet."

"Bella? How so?"

"Well, Alice saw another possible future for a brief moment." She paused, looking for the best way to word what she had to say next. "I know that you've thought about changing him since he came to live here."

Shame flooded Carlisle as she revealed what he had hoped no one would ever know. Yes, he had thought of changing Edward, only because he hated to think of losing him again when he had only gotten him back. After those thoughts, he had felt selfish, it would be better to let him go away to college, to never know the truth about his father and new family.

"It was selfish. A fleeting, selfish thought."

"A thought that revealed a very possible happy ending for our family, and Bella. Alice saw Edward and Bella together, soul mates. Like you and I, like Alice and Jasper."

"Like Rosalie and Emmett?" Carlisle wondered why Esme hadn't included them.

"There's more to this alternate future. Some very bad things that will happen along with the very good things."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Jacobs Recollection**

He had taken a few moments to gather himself and make his way to the hospital. Bella was dead, there was no way around that fact. It had been his fault, even if he had done what he had with some sense of it being the best thing for Bella. In trying to save her from his nearly uncontrollable lust, he had killed her by destroying her love and sense of self-worth.

He had spotted Charlies cruiser outside the ER entrance immediately. Guilt and sorrow weighed on his heart like an anchor, refusing his minds command to go inside and own up to what he had done. How could he ever face Charlie Swan again? He had hoped that somehow the man would find a way to kill him for what he had done. He deserved it and maybe somehow he could find his way to Bella in the next life. Deep down inside, he knew that he would be somewhere opposite of where his beautiful Bella was now. A mental image of her with glowing white angel wings had brought him to his knees, howling in agony, in the ER parking lot. People had scrambled to get away from him and the inhuman sounds he was emitting.

He'd heard the familiar squeaking of his father's wheelchair behind him and felt the hand on his shoulder.

"Son, lets go inside now and see to Charlie."

Slowly, Jacob had risen to his feet and took his place behind Billy to wheel him into the hospital.

The smell of vampire had assaulted him as soon as he stepped inside. He'd looked around anxiously, not seeing one but trusting his finely tuned sense of smell. He'd vaguely heard Billy greet Charlie and then he'd realized that the bloodsucker was strong on Charlie.

"How is she Charlie?" Billy had asked, genuine grief choking his voice.

"She's going to be fine."

_What the fuck? Had he heard him right?_

"Bullshit!" Jacob had bellowed at the two men. "I was there when it happened, I saw how she was, she was dying!"

The tears had been hot like lava, flowing freely down his face. He hadn't been able to stomach watching Charlie delude himself like that. Even a werewolf would be hard pressed to recover from those kind of injuries.

"It must have looked worse than it was. Dr. Cu.... the doctor says that she will be fine in a few days." Charlies voice was forced, his tone clipped and terse.

Without another word, Charlie had turned and gone back through the ER double doors. Jacob had been in utter shock, clueless until Billy had pointed out what should have been obvious.

"Bella is gone, what she is now is an abomination."

Those words had pulled the rug out from under Jacob Black. They may as well have turned off the sun and dug his grave as well. His heart died with Bella's that day and nothing would ever be right again.


End file.
